Ever wondered if the energy you put into complaining could be put to better use? Two Swedish artists who came up with the concept of a Complaints Choir have been delighted to see the idea taken up in towns and cities all over the world.

Grouches from Canada to Korea have formed their own Complaints Choirs to moan about anything from paying tax to feeling lonely. Most complaints are similar – unfriendly people who make others' lives a misery, too much advertising, bad hair days and the universal gripe: never enough money. More site-specific complaints include boring dreams in Helsinki and noisy traditional folk dancing classes in Hungarian apartments while New Yorkers kvetch about workaholic spouses and inaudible subway announcements.

Complaints Choir Festival, Korea

The Asia-Pacific region has no shortage of Complaints Choirs and even hosted its own Grand Complaints Choir Festival in Korea in October 2008 with eight choirs from Seoul, Jinju, Iksan and Kunsan taking part. There are Complaints Choirs in Singapore, Melbourne and Auckland with the latest set up in Hong Kong at the start of 2009. The Hong Kong Complaints Choir have designed their own Crest showing a broken wall, a banana, a few notes and the motto "BELIEVE IN SOCIAL ORDER - COMPLAIN, COMPLAIN, COMPLAIN".

Controversy surrounded Singapore Complaints Choir when one day prior to their first planned performance authorities told them that they would only issue a license to perform in public if six non-Singaporean members (including the choir's conductor) agreed not to take part. After worldwide publicity, private viewings were organised for "friends" of the choir who watched them perform the following song: 

We get fined for almost anything
Drivers won’t ‘give chance’ when you want to ‘change lane’
The indoors are cold, the outdoors are hot
And the humid air, it wrecks my hair
Those answering machines always make you hold
Only to hang up on you

When a pregnant lady gets on the train
Everyone pretends to be asleep
I’m stuck with my parents till I’m 35
Cause I can’t apply for HDB
We don’t recycle any plastic bags
But we purify our pee

CHORUS
What’s wrong with Singapore?
Losing always makes me feel so sore
'Cause if you’re not the best
Then you’re just one of the rest

My oh my, Singapore
What exactly are we voting for?
What’s not expressly permitted
is prohibited

When I’m hungry at the food court, I see
People ‘chope’ seats with their tissue paper
To the Aunty staying upstairs:
Your laundry’s dripping on my bed sheets
Please don’t squat on the toilet seats
And don’t clip your nails on MRT

Stray cats get into noisy affairs
At night, my neighbour makes weird animal sounds
People put on fake accents to sound posh
And queue up 3 hours for donuts
Will I ever live till eighty five
to collect my CPF?

CHORUS

Singaporeans too kiasu! (so scared to lose)
Singaporeans too kiasi! (so scared to die)
Singaporeans too kiabor! (scared of their wives)
Maybe we’re just too stressed out! (even the kids)

Old National Library was replaced by an ugly tunnel
Singaporean men can’t take independent women
People blow their nose into the swimming pool
And fall asleep on my shoulder in the train

Singapore’s national bird is the crane (the one with yellow steel girders)
Real estate agents’ leaflets clogging up my mailbox (en bloc, en bloc, en bloc, en bloc)
Why can’t we be buried when we die?
No one wants to climb Bukit Timah with me

CHORUS

There are not enough public holidays
My neighbor sings KTV all night
Wedding dinners never start on time
My hair is always cut shorter than I want
Channel 5 commercials are way too long
Why do men turn bad?

At first, it was to speak more mandarin
Then it was to speak proper English
What’s wrong with my powerful Singlish?

People sit down during rock concerts
We have to pay for tap water at restaurants
ERP gantries are everywhere
But I can still see traffic jams on the road
All the bus stops have tilted benches to keep you off balance

Singapore Complaints Choir

To watch a video of Singapore Complaints Choir, click here. 

For more information on Complaints Choirs Worldwide, go to http://www.complaintschoir.org